And the Most Horrible Mother Of The Year Award Goes To….

Ugh. I am such a terrible mom some days. Like yesterday, for instance.

Yesterday was one of those please, just leave me alone for a bit days. Part of me wanted to push my kids out the back door and hope they remembered to stay in the yard. They’re a little young for unsupervised outdoor play, however, so it was a good thing Daddy was home and could take them outside. I was just itching for some time to myself, without kids for just a while.

Most days, I love my children. Their cuteness just melts my heart and makes me want to squeeze them close. I love watching them learn, grow, and do. I love it when they “help” me in the kitchen and around the house. I love playing games with them. I love nursing them and snuggling next to them at night. I love taking them places and seeing other people gawk at how adorable they are.ย  Most days, most of the time, I love being Mama.

The problem is, a person sometimes needs an opportunity to turn inwards, to focus on herself for a bit instead of being totally absorbed with the others in her life. But a mother rarely gets a chance to “shut off”. We are always Mother, day and night. Forever on-call. There is very little Me time, especially for a stay-at-home (dare I call it “full-time”?) mom.

Don’t misunderstand; I cherish being home with my children. There are many other mothers I know who do work outside the home, and find it fulfilling, and I think that it’s great that they’re doing what works for them and their family. For me, what works is being home with my kids during these young and tender years.

I just sometimes wish these young and tender years were peppered with a few more hours of time for myself.

(Mother’s curse: of course, now I get to also feel guilty for feeling this way.)

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3 thoughts on “And the Most Horrible Mother Of The Year Award Goes To….

  1. Yesterday was a really bad day for me too…I’m thinking it is a great thing that I don’t have any kiddos, b/c I’d have checked myself into a Ward yesterday.

    Don’t feel guilty. You need ‘me’ time, or you’re going to go nuts. Or nuttier, as the case may be. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Hi…just stumbled on your blog. I sometimes wish I could call in sick. Or take a day off once in a while. It’s the greatest privilege to be at home with the children, and I’m grateful for it, but it really is unrelenting. I think we need to try to make time for ourselves, and NOT feel guilty about it…..it’s a good model for our kids to copy, so that when they are parents, the know how to look after themselves too. Now….lets see if i can get it right!

  3. I agree- it’s not that I don’t want to be home with them, but… well, you hit on it with the “unrelenting” part. Good point, too, about being a positive model for our kids. I don’t want my girls to be Martyr Mommies when it’s their turn… and I know I’m acting like my own mother…

    Thanks for the comment and for stopping by. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Cheers,
    ~MM

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